Sevco Fans Taken For Mugs... AGAIN!

Seems you don't have to be much of a player to capture the attention of the Scottish media these days, not if your a Sevco target and certainly not if your attracting their attention by warming some other side's subs bench. Once upon a time our media dined out on stories of the moonbeam variety, the Gascoigne's, De Boers and Laudrup's all jetted in to sign for the now defunct club and helped them on their way to extinction with the laptop loyal turning a blind eye. Glasgow Rangers spent money like it was going out of fashion. 

Chairman David Murray's motto was "for every fiver Celtic spend we will spend a tenner" Nice slogan... what he failed to elaborate on was the fact that the tenners weren't actually theirs to spend and so began an unhealthy obsession with bettering the Hoops and their eventual slide into liquidation. Now? well things are very different, Rangers have been replaced by sevco and the new club just don't have the same clout when it comes to bumming other people's money. Not one of sevco's players would get into the great Glasgow Rangers sides of the past. Oh and before any raging zombie says Kenny Miller, they can forget it! Kenny Miller at his current age would absolutely NOT have played for some of the great Glasgow Rangers sides of the past. Young Kenny maybe but even then it's not guranteed. A lot has changed at Ibrox..Yet some things remain exactly the same.

January means the opening of the transfer window and with it the usual guff from sevco sycophants and their misguided attempts to keep the new club as relevant as the old one. Take the chase of Jon Toral, an Arsenal midfielder who is currently languishing on the bench at Spanish side Granada. We were actually told by the Daily Record that the player won't be joining sevco until he has taken care of Real Madrid and Ronaldo. Quite how he managed to do this as an unused substitute in a 5-0 defeat is unclear but at least they got the trick of Ronaldo and a sevco target all in the one article. What makes it worse is that the very same paper attempted to convince us that Mark Warburton actually jetted out to convince the player to sign. Jon Toral has failed to land a starting spot for the Spanish strugglers and it says all you need to know about the quality of player sevco and the tragic hat are pursuing. He's not the only one...

When news broke that sevco were after Emerson Hyndman, the footballing world came to a standstill with even the president of Fifa making a statement. None of that happened of course because the man described by the Daily Record as an "ace" is actually nothing more than a Bournemouth reserve player. Naturally as a sevco target he will enjoy all sorts of media attention, as the turd polishers known as the smsm attempt to twist the narrative and turn the lowly reserve into a world beating future World Player of the Year. It doesn't matter who sevco are linked with, they are ALL aces. Should Celtic sign Lionel Messi the same day sevco sign Hyndman, we can guarantee that Messi will be the second biggest transfer story of the day. Hilarious stuff and it's not only transfer targets that get the full treatment. Some of sevco's own squad have been likened to footballing gods by our media.

Matt Crooks and Josh Windass signed for sevco last season and despite both being at lowly Accrington Stanley, it is written in the footballing bible that these guys will go on to be future English Premiership stars. Of course all of this seems a bit far fetched when you consider that Crooks and Windass are both 22 and would have been plucked from the lows of League 2 a few years ago had they been good enough. So good is Crooks that he is now looking for a loan move.. presumably to Barcelona. Sevconians believe all this stuff. Thanks to our media's talk of aces and warchests, the laughter will keep on coming for a long time. They rate the guff they sign and thanks to the media they also rate Warburton. Beautiful ain't it....

Hail Hail

Do you agree? Let us know in the comments below.

If you want more laughs from Rangers CLICK HERE

Don't Forget To Like Us On Facebook & Follow Us On Twitter