Tuesday 27 December 2016

Good Laughs Come In Threes

Well Christmas is over for another year and as we head towards 2017 we are safe in the knowledge that we can always rely on the good ole Daily Record to constantly outdo themselves in the comedy stakes. Sometimes that paper resembles a struggling TV soap which in desperation for viewers and relevance churns out bigger and bigger action set pieces until it is so far removed from it's roots no one can take it seriously anymore. Perhaps that is the reason for these 3 Christmas crackers churned out by the Rancid Record over the past few days. Prepare yourself because these are absolutely mind bending in their logic.


Rob Kiernan To Fulham:


Today, the Rancid Record has a page entitled "Transfer News Live" Goodness know's why they didn't just name it "Made Up Bull" and be done with it. One of the main stories on this page concerns the Rangers defender Rob Kiernan, a man who was dubbed Champions League Class by a clearly unstable Davie Weir just a few weeks back. Apparently this "Champions League class" centre back is being targeted by English Championship side Fulham. Quite how this tallies up with Weir's claim is anyone's guess. Hold the laughs for now though because their not done yet, oh no! Not only are the cottagers desperate for Rob to put pen to paper, they are willing to fork out 2m for the privilege. Hmm somehow this one doesn't seem too likely

Odds Of Happening: About the same as Dave King inviting Mike Ashley for Christmas Dinner....



Rangers Lower League Stint Saved Clubs From The Brink:


Been a while since we heard this one trotted out isn't it? For years we have heard how Sevco are the saviors of Scottish football and once again the Rancid Record permits the bold Stuart McCall to peddle the widely debunked myth. Stuart also talks about Rangers being "punished" and informs us that the Bradford rugby team are in administration and people are attempting to save them. Goodness know's what they need saving from because the laws of going out of business don't seem to exist to these people... or is that just for Rangers? How many times does it need stated that the only club on the brink of financial Armageddon are the pretenders currently playing at Ibrox. Treat this rubbish with the contempt it deserves.


Odds Of Being True: About the same as a Level 5 PR statement....



Celtic Move For Darlington Nagbe Falls Apart:


Celtic's move for the 10 ten times capped American midfielder is OFF and while every other source confirms that Celtic pulled the plug, the Rancid Record has done some extensive investigating to get to the bottom of the story and exclusively learned that it was Portland Timbers who cancelled the deal. How did they acquire this information? By way of someone's tweet. Just how do these Record reporters do it. Surely there must be a future winner of the TRACE prize for investigative reporting in amongst that mob? 


Odds Of The Record Lying: Do we even need to answer this one?


Hope everyone had a merry Christmas and is looking forward to a Happy New Year.


Hail Hail


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